For Bronxbox. I love you.

I remember the time when I came so close with you
I let everything go it seemed the only truth
And I bought you that ring, it seemed the thing to do

What makes me think I could start clean slated
The hardest to learn was the least complicated
So what makes me think I could start clean slated
The hardest to learn was the least complicated

This entry is just for my love to John aka Bronxboy aka Kissimmee from the NHOT. I love you, John, and you will be terribly missed. You were a rock and an awesome slicer and dicer in the forum. And, much more importantly, you were kind and always honest and forthright. I miss you already. And, for Heaven's sake, I hope it's a Rock and Roll Heaven.

I love you, Liz. So much. My heart is with you.

Ladies and Gents! Gather 'round!

So Peter and I attended the Connecticut Ren Faire, which was awesome. I was lovingly garbed by ET, who does amazing work! What you cannot tell is, in my basket I have a cell phone and a digital camera! Oh, and a wooden spoon, for no good reason.

The Faire was great - I oohed and awed at all the amazing goods for sale - kick ass Ren Wear, sun catchers, a village smithy....Peter, the Mad Monk, bought a new woolen belt for himself, and I indulged in a cheering stick for Dame Fiona the Fearless!

I have to admit, I have not been to one of these things in a WHILE, but this one was a good one. This is the 9th Annual CT Ren Faire, and they call the little village they set up "The Shire" (of course), but it really was massive.



Sadly, the turkey legs were all gone by the time we got there. I had to content myself with Ye Olde Cheese Sticks, and the Mad Monk had shepherd's pie that confused him, "Broccoli? There's broccoli in this. " Me, "Well, it is a Ren Faire." Him, "I don't think they HAD broccoli in the Renaissance." Me, "Good question."

So some other highlights until I get to the bloodlust.

The "Poprah" Show. The only PG-13 thing I attended all day. Bawdy bawdiness, for the sake of bawdiness, and big boobs. Basically an improv show with guys dressed as various clergy members spoofing the Oprah Show. They encouraged the crowd to show their breasts. Friggin hilarious, and Mad Monk Approved (TM, pending).

Being mistaken, by an uncostumed couple, for a worker. Luckily, I knew how to point them to Ye Olde Cheese Sticks.

And, wait for it, BLOODLUST.

I cannot hold back any longer, and chant with me, "Blood Makes the Grass Grow, KILL KILL KILL!":

A Connecticut Transplant in King Arthur's Court

Oh, it's here! It's here!

*Claps hands like a little girl*


http://ctfaire.com/connecticut_renaissance_festival/index.php

Belly dancing! Free games! Knights! Falconry!!! Such a mind-blowing and time-bending event that they can actually manage to advertise over 40 hours of entertainment a day. I didn't even know that was quantumally (new word!) possible.

The only thing that makes me sad is that I have no Ren Faire duds. No bodices, no skirts. Dr. Pete has a monk costume, so he's cool - not that it won't take some amazing kind of pleading and begging to get him to wear it. Though the sweet temptation of giant turkey legs might work.

I'm looking on the site, and the wedding packages aren't bad at all. Considering how much weddings cost these days, even the Royalty Package, at $3,500 is pretty affordable for the entire kit & kaboodle. That's for 40 people, they even throw a feast for your arse.

So onto other events around the area....I must MUST go to this:

http://www.hauntedgraveyard.com/

(Warning: sound effects on the site...they are cool but don't want to get you in trouble at work)

Hah, the gallery kicks ass:

http://www.hauntedgraveyard.com/gallery.aspx


If you were wanting something a little less scary (and that is certainly subjective), you could go to West Hartford and check out this year's Cow Parade:

http://www.thisisct.net/cows.html

I don't know if you have ever had the cows come to your home town, but they are kind of cool and distracting, in a "this isn't what the town normally looks like" sort of way.

So Peter's father was in town this weekend for a convention, and Saturday night we *finally* made it out to Carbone's, which is supposedly the best restaurant in Hartford.

http://www.carbonesct.com/home.htm

I have to say, there is probably not much about Carbone's that I could say that has not been said, and hundreds of award-bestowers agree with me that the food at Carbone's in probably the best. I'm not an enormous fan of Italian (oh, but I'll eat it), and the menu was somewhat limiting for vegetarians, but my cheese ravioli was light and fresh-tasting, with a sauce of chunky plum-tomato. I didn't try Dr. Pete's or FIL's veal (veal!), but considering they both disappeared, I'll have to imagine they were great.

I'd probably go back on a day other than Saturday, or a little later on Saturday, as the place was packed when we got there and the staff seemed a little rushed. However, the crowd thinned about half-way through the meal, so we got a better chance to talk to several staff members about the wine, etc. This is in way meant to imply we were ignored at all for the first half of the meal.

I would be somewhat snarky at my FIL's need to ask how much the specials cost, but he reads this blog, so I can't. Sorry dad! But it DID spark an interesting discussion - the nicer a restaurant is, the less likely it is that the prices of the specials will be noted. I just generally look at the price of something similar on the menu, take 20% of the price and add it on. I.E. if something similar to the special is on the menu for 40 dollars, you can guess the special is going to be about $48. Dr. Pete and I both think it's a little rude to ask the prices of specials, but FIL disagrees. I'd be interested in hearing anyone else's opinion on asking the prices of specials, as I agree that people could go either way on this.

Gin O' Meter: I didn't have a G&T, so I cannot rate in that way, but I had a kick ass Pomegranate Martini. It was VERY good.

OK, kids, until next time, wherein I list a number of Hartford's Hidden Gems. Take care!

My Fall TV Reviews! (Part One)

Listen up, donkeys!!!

OK, I know this isn't strictly about Hartford, but I do have teevee in Hartford, and so I figure I can fit it in under some sort of ridiculous premise like that. There's a chill in the air, the leaves are starting to change, Christmas displays have gone up in department stores...all of these things mean that the Fall viewing schedule in upon us. Ahhh, bliss. Not that I'm not still crying in my Gin & Tonic over Lost not returning until effin February, mind you. (How many times did I use "not" in that sentence - three? Does that mean it's still a negative or a positive? Bah, nevermind.)

America's Next Top Model (CW)

http://www.cwtv.com/shows/americas-next-top-model

Oh, the bitch is back. This is oddly the one show I cannot get Dr. Pete to watch, which is weird because it has, you know, models (or reasonable facsimiles thereof) in it. But he hates Tyra, whom he calls a psychopath and who am I to question because he's like trained to know that stuff. So the new season started last night, and I have to admit I am still a little bitter about Jaslene's win over Natasha from last cycle. I feel vindicated because Jaslene's My Life as a Covergirl ads are, well, awful. I can't believe they gave Danielle such grief over her accent when Jaslene needs subtitles. Look, I'm fine with accents in general, but I'd appreciate some consistency. Who am I kidding, this is ANTM.

What one needs to understand to watch ANTM is that it is NOT a modeling competition, but a competitive reality show that just happens to involve modeling. And lots of Tyra wigs. Last night started off with the 20 (30?) initial models going on a cruise ship to compete to make the first cut. Let me say right here that I think that the entire cycle should have been done on a cruise ship. If it's legal to have monkey knife fights in international waters, it should be legal to chuck the bitches who get cut overboard. I'm just sayin, CW, you might want to look into it.


The familiar cast of characters is back: Mr. Jay (gradually morphing into an alien), "Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker, Twiggy ( I love her), Ms. J Alexander (drag queen extraordinaire) and of course Miss Thang Tyra. Tyra introduced herself to the girls by doing a lounge act song and dance number while wearing a costume that looked like the bastard child of a Cher costume mated to the Navy guy from the Village People. Anyway, the models are cute this cycle, which is a relief, and I'm actually pleased about the inclusion of a normal-sized wannabe, though there is NO place in the modeling world for a size 6-8 girl. Best of luck to her, at any rate.

Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, US Version (Fox)

http://www.fox.com/kitchennightmares/


OK, I love the UK version of this show, and last night premiered the US version. Of course, Fox had to go and Foxify a perfectly good product, but who am I kidding, I would watch Ramsay reading/yelling from a dictionary. But, all that said and done, it wasn't too bad! The first episode took us to "Peter's" a family-owned Italian joint on Long Island. I swear, if Peter the Guido didn't exist, he'd need to be invented. (The loudmouth, bedazzled creep is probably being offered his own reality show by Fox as we speak.) Peter's insistence on spending boatloads of cash on himself left the restaurant in a state of disrepair, constantly hounded by "bill collectors." (yeah, right, they're from the electric company, suuuure). To make matters worse, he is only the manager. His delightful if beleaguered sister (Tina) actually owns the place, and is at risk of losing her home if the sorry state isn't improved. Watch the video on the website to get a great look at Peter.

I love how Ramsay has a singular talent to cut through the bullsh*t.

Even though it's not as good as the original, I'll keep watching.

Beauty and the Geek (CW)

http://www.cwtv.com/shows/beauty-and-the-geek

Awww. I love this show. For a competition program, it's actually quite sweet, a formula that was almost wrecked by last season's pure-evil Cici (cat hiss). The focus is on personal growth, and I always surprise myself by how affecting this show can be. The contests are always directly relatable to the focus of the episode, and are rarely, if ever, humiliating. While both the Beauties and the Geeks are the subject of gentle ribbing, they are never the butt of the joke.

The casting seems really promising this year, and I have read interviews with the host who claims they really went out of their way to find a cast of people who genuinely wanted to improve themselves; who were in it as much for the experience as for the game. In an age where competitive-reality programming seems more interested in having contestants who are hated (better ratings) than cared-for by the viewer, the attitude is refreshing.

The cast this year also includes Nicole, the first female Geek. Unfortunately, she was introduced at the very end of the episode, so I can't really say anything about her. I also like the expansion of what makes a Geek to include people who don't seem fantastically geeky other than severe social awkwardness. (Well, that and they went to MIT, duh.) The Beauties, on the other hand (with one exception but I will withhold judgment) seem genuinely sweet if clueless (actual quote: The sun and the moon are the same thing, right?).

Obviously, I have a sweet spot for this show.

Don't You Love this Weather?

Well, Autumn certainly gave Summer the slip...it went straight from the 90s to the 60s!

It is gorgeous out, and I am looking forward to experiencing my first New England Autumn (not so much the Winter)! We packed up all our Summer duds (do they still say that, "duds?") and unpacked the assortment of flannels and sweaters and all the clothes I am not-yet sick of.

Dr. Pete and I also got the number 1 and number 2 tickets to the Half Door's 3rd Annual Beer & Game Food pairing party! Amazingly, there is only one dish on the menu that my diet forbids - the Antelope. As luck would have it, it is also served with Bleu Cheese, and I happen to be allergic. So I had to scan the menu for you all to check out.

The only thing I have never had on the menu is turtle. Man, I dig turtles (to look at, not to eat) and I figure this is the only time I will indulge, so in the spirit of what the hell?

CLICK images to enlarge!

I'm only annoyed that I have to wait until late October!

Straight to Camera

So the newspaper thief took the bait! We'll see what happens, but hopefully my NYTimes Weekender will now remain untouched.

And new reward, more random squirrel footage:




Now with 100 percent more squirrel commentary.

Operation Jerk Stealing My Newspaper is in effect! PLUS: A Day at the DMV

Reconnaissance is boring! So I set the alarm for 6 am to try to catch a (newspaper) thief. The plan was this, wait out for the delivery guy then replace the paper with last week's paper and the afore-mentioned note. So...maybe I should have, you know, checked as to what time the delivery guy got there, because for an hour my ass was standing in the rain in my hoodie and pajamas, probably looking incredibly insane.

In the interests of a good sting, I Googled "stealing my newspaper" and was astonished at the wide-spreadedness (new word!) of this issue. Seriously. Try it, I got 1050 hits! And that's in quotes. This was one of my favorites, also at Blogspot:

http://aglasner.blogspot.com/2007/05/ace-glasner-pet-detective.html

Hilariously, I am #3 on Google for "stealing my newspaper." Snerf.

ANYWHO, an hour later delivery guy came by and frankly looked shocked I was waiting for him. He was like, "Is this your paper?" and I was all, "Yeah, some jerk has been stealing it." He chuckled and shook his head, an action that for some reason made me want to punch him. I'm not a violent person, but standing out in the dark and rain (did I mention it was also raining?) made me a touch grumpy.

So I retreated to the stairwell and did the switch in the blue plastic Times bag. I was planning on camping out in the car to watch for the thief, but I was frankly exhausted at that point, so I went back upstairs.

Boo, as of noon, the thief hadn't taken the bait. Maybe the times is like a baby bird and the thief is like a mother bird and won't touch the paper if human hands have touched it. Who knows. So I retrieved my bait and will redeploy it tomorrow. Wish me luck!

PART 2, The DMV is-a-killin' me!

Yesterday, Dr. Pete and I decided we had no choice but to pony up and go get our Connecticut drivers licenses. So here's an easy 20-step instruction manual to transferring a license to Connecticut.

1. Go four towns over to the town with the DMV, as there is no actual DMV in the city of Hartford. Be sure to bring newspaper, snacks.

2. Wait in line to get initial number, be told you need a piece of postmarked mail to prove address. Dig through car, find forwarded mail and hope for best.

3. Get back in line for initial number, be told your forwarded mail is "probably ok."

4. Sit and wait for number to be called. When number is called, go up to window. Be told that your certified copy of your birth certificate is not acceptable, as you need actual birth certificate. Look at window attendant as if they are functionally retarded. Explain to window attendant that a certified copy is as good as original, as it is from hospital where you were born and was used as proof to obtain wedding license. Be confused when window person does not believe that you can obtain birth certificate copy from hospital where you were born, not county records. Wait as window person leaves to "check with supervisor."

5. Have to drive all the way home and back to obtain better piece of postmarked mail. Curse and mumble entire route.

6. Return to DMV, obtain second initial number. Wait for number to be called.

7. Number is called, go to window, re-present all information/identification. Watch window person flag you for Homeland Security observation due to afore-mentioned certified birth certificate copy. Pay 40 dollars in cash no debit cards, no credit cards accepted thank you.

8. Wait for name to be called.

9. Wait for name to be called.

10. Name called, go to different window and fill out another form.

11. While waiting for name to be called again, go get voter registration forms, hope you don't need to wait in new line to register.

12. Name is called, wait in line to get eye test. Pass eye test. Be told to wait until name is called.

13. Wait for name to be called. Fill out voter registration card and do half of Friday crossword puzzle. Fight with husband out of sheer boredom.

14. Name is called, go to different window and pay 77 dollars only cash no credit or debit cards. Fish in purse for change when you discover you only have 73 dollars. Pay, the wait for name to be called.

15. Wait for name to be called, name is called, go up and have picture taken.

16. Wait for name to be called.

17. Name is called, go up and obtain new license.

18. Utterly confuse window person by attempting to turn in voter registration forms.

19. Wait for window person to get manager. Manager takes voter registration forms, gives verification.

20. Get the hell out of there, go to pub, have 5 drinks.